Hey so
I’m Asian and asexual aromantic, or at least on the asexual/aromantic spectrum.
Some time after I became more conscious of different sexual orientations, I think I’ve maybe started to question my own. At first I pretty much assumed that I was heterosexual. Maybe because that’s what society expects, and my parents expects (even though they’re pretty open minded about stuff like this.)
More or less I realized that I was honestly not attracted to anyone, sexually or romantically. I may think somebody’s good looking or really want to be friends with them, but nothing that remotely leans into the sexual or romantic area.
At this point, it should be noted that I’m currently a junior high student. The thing about this is that first, I’m afraid of my orientation (or lack thereof) as not being taken “legitimately” because I’m young- heck, in Personal Development class, we “learn” to “not label ourselves too early” because “labels limit you” (which may be true to an extent but they forgot the part where labels may be something that gives minorities security because they’re not the only ones). I even wonder if my asexuality is “legitimate” because of my age, even when I know sexuality is fluid.
And it feels like a lot of other junior high students are very into romance and relationships and such, which is pretty normal. Who likes/has a crush on who, who’s dating who is a pretty big thing, I suppose. I just hope that people actually believe me when I say that I do not like anyone in the way they’re thinking. I know it may sound somewhat petty but knowing that the response to “I don’t have a crush on anyone” will most likely be “Oh sure you don’t. Who is it? Tell me~” just feels invalidating about my asexuality. Maybe I “shouldn’t need anyone else’s validation.” For the most part I don’t. I still don’t want that part of my identity just ignored as a “phase” and whatnot.
And I do get platonic “crushes” but so far I haven’t really tried to approach any of them because they’re mostly males (as far as I know) and people will think that approach is somehow romantic. I don’t want to get sucked into gossips and relationship dramas.
And second is that I’m afraid people will somehow link the fact I’m asexual aromantic to the fact I’m Asian, because of all those stereotypes- always studying, strict parents who don’t allow their kids to date, etc. Or rather, people may think that my asexuality is “really just a result of you repressing your sexuality because you study a lot/have strict parents.” ((Truth is, I don’t spend that much time studying and my parents aren’t THAT strict, they don’t care if I date or what.))
On the bright side, people I’ve (casually) told so far that I’m asexual aromantic didn’t give a negative reaction. Just “oh okay.” I didn’t exactly announce it to the world, but if I do there won’t be a major shitstorm, so to speak. Which is obviously a good thing.
